MEREDITH MAYLES is a writer, a total introvert, and is interested in things such as Remote Viewing, Otherkin, and Telekinesis. She has spent the last six summers with a women's art colony in upstate New York, and has much of her written material accumulated on disk and, occasionally, even in hard copy.

                                               are you taking your lithium?

Sept. 21st

Hello? Hello? Why don't you pick up the phone-why don't you ever return your messages? Why can't you do something, do anything? HELLO? Are you asleep again? Everybody sleeps too much, that's the problem.

Sept. 22nd

HELLO? HELLO? Promises, promises, PROMISES! Your message says you'll call right back but you don't!! The truck is on the lawn because I'm evicting the tenant in the cottage. I want him to use the truck to move because I don't want him to have any excuses. He threatened to break my legs! He's outta there!

Sept. 23rd

HELLO? Where did you go? Where are you? Where is anybody when I need 'em? It's three in the morning, I'm paying bills, I'm a bill-paying machine. The bank says they can't find $2200 I put in there! She hung up on me. All I get is that machine where they tell you to dial numbers! I want you to call them in the morning. That girl at the bank just hangs up on me and they're STEALING MY MONEY! HELLO! Can you get this message, can you call me back, can you do anything! I'm paying bills, what are you doing? Huh?

Sept. 25th

I'm at the Airport. I'm going to London! They may publish my book! Tell the U-Haul people I need that truck for another week. I called the main office to give 'em another credit card 'cause the other one didn't go through. They said there's a warrant for my arrest in Kansas City! I told 'em that was funny 'cuz the truck's still on my lawn in Poughkeepsie, NY. They don't know what they're talking about. Tell 'em I'm outta the country.

Oct. 5th

So WHAT if there's a big hole in back of the house? I paid the guy with the hydro-ax to put it there he's got three kids and he's gotta get through the winter -- put some yellow caution tape around it so no one walks into it, would ya? I'm gonna plant potatoes the way the Mayans did with irrigation. I'm gonna build something, leave me alone I know what I'm doing. My daddy was in construction. He built the highways all over Minnesota!

Oct. 10th

Hello? Somebody? Anybody? PICK UP THIS PHONE! HELLO! Hello? Oh well I can't make myself heard, felt, seen or believed! HELLO?

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© 2003 Meredith Mayles